Haunted
by LadyKayoss
Summary: Heroes don't always live happily ever after. Sometimes, they're left dealing with inner demons.


HAUNTED KVCC Normal Commons 2 239 2001-10-31T14:53:00Z 2001-10-31T14:53:00Z 16 4883 27834 Kalamazoo Valley Community College 231 55 34182 9.3821 

Disclaimer:  I don't own any of the characters in this fic…  Square does.

This is my first attempt at a supernatural story.  It didn't come out as well as I'd hoped.  But anyway, happy Halloween.

HAUNTED

Screams.

The sound of a city dying filled Aki Ross's ears as she stood amidst the mass chaos wrought by the Phantoms.  Around her, people ran in panicked herds, only to have their very spirits ripped from their bodies by their pursuers.

Aki stood untouched in the middle of it all, the Phantoms ignoring her as if she weren't even there.  A breeze tugged at her hair, dragging it across her vision and briefly obscuring the horrific view.

She was completely helpless as a woman and child ran by, a human-sized Phantom hot on their heels.  Her feet were rooted to the spot, and she could only watch in horror.

_It would seem that the Phantoms were attracted to Dr. Ross,_ a voice echoed through her head.

"No!" she shook her head in denial.  "I didn't cause this!"

_She's under the influence of the Phantoms_, another voice added, this one chillingly familiar.

"Aki!" a voice cried.  A familiar figure ran towards her, his strong features concerned.

"Gray," Aki breathed, reaching for her beloved.

"I'm here for you!" Gray Edwards cried as he drew closer.  "Just take my hand and we can leave."

Aki stretched towards him, but she couldn't seem to get any closer.  Her fingers brushed his, and he tried to grab her hand, but failed.

"It's your guilt that stops you!" Gray shouted over the screams.  "This isn't your fault!  Now come with me!"

"I can't!" Aki cried desperately.  Her legs wouldn't move!

She was making one last effort to grab Gray when a horde of glittering tentacles rose from the ground and cocooned her beloved in their deadly embrace.  There was an agonized cry, a brief flash of blue, then Gray's lifeless body crumpled at her feet.  The tentacles whipped around, but moved away from Aki.

"Gray!" she screamed. "GRAY!  NO!"

*    *    *

Aki awoke, her whole body drenched in sweat.  Eyes wide with fright, she scanned her dark room as if searching for Phantoms.  Her heart pounded in her chest, and her breath came out in ragged gasps.  She struggled to calm herself, but the dream had been so vivid.

As vivid as her Phantom dreams… The dreams had had the same feel to them, as if she were actually THERE.  She had felt the breeze ruffle her hair, and smelt the smoke from the flames.  And her fingers still tingled from where they had brushed Gray's.

She couldn't contain the sob in her throat at the thought of her beloved.  She'd been so close to him, and he'd died.  The dream's cruel mockery of the events of three days ago tore at her, and she almost burst into tears.  The wound was still so fresh!

She turned to her alarm clock.  It was only 3 a.m. - she'd only been asleep for two hours.  But she didn't want to go back to sleep.  She was afraid she might return to the terrible dream that still lingered with horrifying clarity in her waking mind.

Aki slid out of her tangled covers and got to her feet with a sigh.   She hadn't slept well at all since Gaia had been saved, and now it seemed she was going to be plagued with dreams again.

_It would seem that the Phantoms were attracted to Dr. Ross,_ the voice had said matter-of-factly.  Aki shivered as she walked over to her dresser, combing her fingers through her short hair.  What did that mean?

Was it her fault New York fell?

The thought had been plaguing her for some time.  Had she brought about the deaths of millions through her actions?  In saving the planet, had she sunk to General Hein's level and destroyed part of it?

Tears traced a glistening trail down her cheek.  She'd never intended for anything like that to happen.  She stared at her barely distinguishable reflection in the mirror.  It's your guilt that stops you, Gray had told her.  Yes, she did feel guilty about New York.  But it hadn't been her fault the barrier fell!

Out of the corner of her eye, Aki saw a flash of blue reflected in the mirror.  She gasped and whirled around, but there was nothing with her in the semi-darkness.  She scanned the room, searching every dark corner.  There was nothing in the room with her.  She must have imagined things, brought on by her terrible dream.

She couldn't possibly have seen a human spirit flit through her wall and vanish.

*    *    *  

"Are you all right, Aki?" Dr. Sid's concerned voice startled Aki, and she sloshed her lukewarm coffee all over her hands.  She set the cup on her desk with trembling hands and turned towards Dr. Sid.

"I'm fine," she said weakly, wiping her hands on a napkin.  From Sid's skeptical look, she knew he didn't believe her.  Not that she could blame him; in the mirror that morning, her face had looked pale and gaunt, with dark circles ringing her bleak eyes.

"Still not sleeping well?" Dr. Sid asked sympathetically.  "I can give you something to help, if you want."

"I'd prefer if you didn't," Aki whispered.  She walked around her desk towards the window, and gazed out at the city below.  "What did the Council have to say?"

Dr. Sid sighed, realizing she was avoiding her problems, but answered, "They've agreed to shut down the Houston barrier tonight.  They're finally accepting that the Phantoms are gone for good."

"Thanks to Gray," Aki said bitterly.

Sid came up behind her and squeezed her shoulder.  "The Council knows about his sacrifice, and they will honor him for his heroism."

Small consolation, Aki thought.

"Would you like to know why the New York barrier failed?" Dr. Sid asked suddenly.  Aki stiffened as she remembered her dream.

"Why?" she whispered.

"The Council was able to access the back-up records for the city.  A section of the barrier was shut down by General Hein."

Aki was silent for a moment as she digested this.  Who would have thought the general would do something so vile?

"Why?" Aki asked again, stunned.  "He hated the Phantoms!  Why would he let them in?  
  


"Theory is that Hein wanted to persuade the Council to authorize use of the Zeus Cannon.  He was a fool, Aki.  A mad, obsessed fool."

But the Council had delayed firing the Zeus Cannon because she, Aki, had convinced them to.  Hein had been mad and obsessed, yes, but had she been the one to push him over the edge?

*    *    *

The slaughter was over.  The barrier city was now silent, except for the crackling of fires burning unchecked, the scream of tortured metal, and the occasional screech of a stray Phantom.  Aki stood in the middle of it again, surrounded by the bodies of New York's citizens.  At her feet lay Gray, one hand stretched towards her as if still reaching for her.

He'd been trying to save her from something, she realized.   But what?  Why hadn't she been able to take his hand and go with him like she ached to do?

She took a step towards Gray and was surprised when her feet responded.  Nothing was holding her in place now.  She stooped down by Gray's corpse, wanting to touch him, to hold him, but something held her back.  _This isn't Gray.  This is just another dream.  Gray's real body is… is…  _She didn't want to think about it, so instead went off to explore the new dreamscape she found herself in.

Like her Phantom dreams, she could use all her senses; she could hear the crunch of rubble under her boots and smell the sickly odor of burning bodies.  She could see everything in sharp detail and feel the jagged edge of a support strut that had fallen across the road in front of her.  She choked down tears at the senseless destruction, remembering how alive the city had been a week previous.

There was a low rumbling noise, and a giant insectoid Phantom, one of the metas like that which had attacked them in the hangar, lumbered over her, its tentacles writhing around it.  The Phantom ignored her completely as it continued through the city looking for prey that was no longer there.

Gray had once told her there were no metas anywhere near New York.  And yet, a couple had been there during the city's fall.  Where had they come from?  Had they truly been drawn to her?

There was a low moaning noise, barely discernable over the crackling flames.  Aki thought she'd imagined it at first, but it seemed to surround her, filling her head with a dull roar.  Was it the city's last cry as it died?  It almost sounded like voices… 

_Join us…_ they whispered.

*    *    *

Aki smoothed her black dress nervously.  She looked fine, she knew, but the shut down of the barrier was the first time she would appear in public since the defeat of the Phantoms, and she was very uneasy.  There were going to be so many people at what had become a gala event, and Aki didn't feel ready to face them.

She didn't want the crowd's questions or sympathy for her loss.  And she definitely didn't want any congratulations.  So much had gone wrong in her efforts to save the world and she didn't feel she deserved it.  Fortunately, the Council had asked her and Dr. Sid to be with them, so it was possible they could keep the crowd's curiosity to a minimum.

"Are you ready?" Dr. Sid queried from behind.  She turned to face him, straightening from her weary slump.  He was dressed in an old-fashioned black tuxedo and looked quite regal, she thought.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Aki sighed, brushing aside a strand of her hair nervously.

"How do you feel?" Dr. Sid continued with concern.  "You still look a little pale."

"My nap earlier helped," Aki lied, barely containing the shivers the memory of her latest nightmare gave her.  _Join us…  _She smiled weakly.  "I'm not pale, it's just the dress.  Black was never really my color."  But it was what one wore for mourning, which was why she had chosen the conservative black outfit.

Dr. Sid looked as if he wanted to say more, but instead gallantly offered his arm.  "Shall I escort you there, my lady?"  Dr. Sid said with a smile.

Aki gracefully looped her arm through his.  "Lead on," she said, flattered by his chivalrous gesture.  Together, they left the apartments in the shelter set aside for New York refugees to where a small transport waited for them.

It took them swiftly through the city to a large open area where thousands of people had gathered in their finest clothing.  A group of soldiers roamed the crowd's fringes and Aki guessed several more served as bodyguards for the Council.  They moved with a nervous air, she noticed as their transport was waved through, and they were armed with bio-etheric weapons as well as the standard projectile firearms.  They clearly still didn't believe all the Phantoms were gone.

Not that she blamed them.  She was a little wary, too.  What if her insistence that everything was all right was the death of this city as well?

_Stop that! _she told herself sternly as the driver opened the transport's door for her.  She hadn't destroyed New York!

She clung to Dr. Sid's arm tightly as the crowd parted for them, ignoring the hands reaching out to touch the world's savior.  Several people cheered as she passed and she clung to Dr. Sid harder.  The only thing keeping the people back, she realized, was the military escort that had attached itself to her and Dr. Sid.

"Just ignore them," Dr. Sid murmured quietly.  "The Council won't let them mob you, you'll see."

Aki gulped and nodded, wishing Gray were by her side.  She wanted so much to stand under the night sky with him, to look at the stars from earth without fearing the Phantoms.  Aki fought back the tears that welled up, but couldn't suppress the sniffle.

Dr. Sid squeezed her arm reassuringly as he led her towards the tables reserved for the Council.  Councilwoman Hee looked up as Aki and Dr. Sid passed and smiled as she gestured them over.

"This is very exciting!" the older woman said as they neared.  "I had feared I wouldn't live to see the day we could leave the barrier cities.  This is the beginning of a new age for us, and I hope you two will continue with your research to help the planet."

"Yes," Aki whispered softly.  She couldn't meet the woman's eyes.  

"We plan to give Captain Edwards a hero's burial," Hee said, her voice suddenly soft.  "The military has agreed to bestow the rank of Major upon him.  I believe they also want to present him with the Medal of Honor."

"What good will it do him?" Aki said bitterly.  She knew the councilwoman was trying to make her feel better, but that was impossible.  The tears that had been threatening spilled down her cheek.  She shut her eyes and turned her head away, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," Hee began, but Aki raised her hand to stop her.

"It's not your fault," Aki whispered.  She sniffed, then wiped away her tears.  "W-what about the rest of Deep Eyes?  They lost their lives too in our escape from New York."  _They never should have helped me…  They didn't believe in my cause, but they died for it!  All my fault…_

"The military will honor them as well," the councilwoman said uncertainly.  "They'll likely bury empty caskets-"

"No!" Aki said sharply.  "They should be brought here and buried with their captain."

Councilwoman Hee pursed her lips and said nothing.  She turned suddenly when she realized Councilman Drake was beckoning to her.  "I must go," she said quickly.  "We're giving a speech before we drop the barrier in thirty minutes.  There are seats reserved for you there," she gestured, "and help yourself to the buffet." She turned on her heel and quickly strode towards the rest of the Council.

"Aki," Dr. Sid said sternly, "you shouldn't have pushed her like that."  He led her towards their assigned table.  Aki didn't reply as she took her seat, focusing her gaze on the tabletop.  "They're doing the best they can," Dr. Sid continued.

"I know," Aki said flatly.  She didn't want to discuss it anymore.  She just wanted to be alone with her thoughts.  Dr. Sid recognized the signs and decided not to press the issue for the moment.  Aki had been through so much, it wasn't surprising she was acting a little odd.  But he vowed to keep his eye on her.

Aki was only half listening as the Council members began their speech.  The words began to run together in her head, and she couldn't have said who was doing the talking.  All she heard was a distant mumbling, which abruptly cut off.

Aki's head jerked up as she took in the dead silence around her.  Her eyes widened as she realized the space around her was completely devoid of people, except for her.  Even Dr. Sid was gone, the glass he had been drinking from was tipped over, the dark liquid oozing from the glass like blood.

Where had everyone gone?  Aki sprang to her feet as she suddenly noticed the Houston cityscape was warping and twisting into something different, but very familiar.

 A low moaning noise, not unlike a Phantom's cry, began to fill her ears.   It seemed to be coming from all around her.  She spun around, but couldn't see the source of the noise.  Then she caught a hint of blue in her peripheral vision and she whirled to face it.

A human spirit appeared to her left, then another.  Soon she was surrounded by a large crowd, with no escape.  She gasped as one stepped close, and she was able to get a better look at it.

The spirit was unhealthy; a churning mass of red spiritual energy was inside its chest.  A Phantom infection!  But how?  The Phantoms were gone!

Aki felt a pain in her chest, and she glanced down at herself in shock.  Her own body was gone!  She was just a shimmering blue outline spotted with red, like the others around her.

The spirit that had moved towards her was now gesturing, a wordless invitation to join them.  Aki shook her head and began to back away.

Join us… 

_No!_ she tried to cry.  _I'm not one of you!  I'm alive!  Alive!_

She turned, and her feet caught in the chair she'd sat in earlier.  Her knee knocked painfully into the hard plastic – _If I'm a spirit, why can I feel pain? – _then she was sent sprawling at the feet of the gathered spirits, her head slamming against the pavement.  There was an explosion of pain-

-and Aki cried out, leaping to her feet.  Around her, the gathered audience turned to face her, and Councilman Drake stopped speaking at her interruption.

Eyes wide, Aki scanned the living, breathing crowd that was trying to gather around her.  She struggled to catch her breath as she recognized the Houston skyline_.  I'm not in New York… It was another dream… But I wasn't asleep!_

"Is everything all right, Dr. Ross?"  Councilman Drake asked from the podium.

"It's okay… I'm fine," Aki said loudly, before turning to Dr. Sid.  "I think I need to go," she whispered, as Drake continued his speech.

"They're about to shut off the barrier," Dr. Sid began.

"Please," Aki pleaded.  Dr. Sid started to get up.  "I can go alone," she added.  "This is just too soon for me."  With that, she urged her trembling legs forward, and the crowd parted around her.  She kept her gaze straight forward, only stopping as the city was suddenly plunged into darkness as the barrier was turned off for the first time since it had been erected.  The crowd around her gasped in amazement and began to applaud loudly, and Aki continued to weave through the press of people.

Once again, hands reached towards her, more insistent this time without her military escort.  She knocked the hands out of her way as she frantically waded through the crowd, then was suddenly brought up short as she reached the crowd's edge.

 A translucent blue hand was reaching towards her amidst a clump of tightly packed people.  This time, she knew she was awake.  How could they not see it?

Aki sprang backwards, bumping into a group of people and knocking two down.  They yelled at her angrily but Aki, in the grip of an irrational fear, didn't hear a word they said as she fought her way free of the crowd and ran as far away from it all as quickly as she could.

*    *    *

Without the barrier's perpetual glow, the city was very dark.  The lights weren't very strong to maximize the use of the holo-technology, but at least the barrier had provided some light.  Now, the lab where Aki took herself after charging out of the gathering was pitch black, and eerily silent.

She was calmer now, having taken some tranquilizing drugs.  Brought out of her panic, she was able to think things through more clearly.

It was stupid, she knew.  Hallucinations and bad dreams brought on by the shock of the tragedies a few days ago.  It was only natural her mind was being affected; she'd witnessed so much death first-hand, and she was only human after all.

And no one else had seen the human spirits, otherwise Dr. Sid or the Council would have been notified.  And as for her guilt about New York's fall… Well, the city had been under Hein's mad influence for some time.  It was inevitable that he'd cross the line eventually.  It was only coincidence she'd been there at the time.

Still, they had felt so real, like her Phantom dreams.  Like someone was trying to tell her something.  But the Phantom spirit that had been within her was gone!  What was going on?

"Aki," Dr. Sid's voice cut through her reverie.  He stood in the lab's entrance, still in his formal finery.  "Do you want to tell me what that was all about?"

Aki couldn't meet his eyes.  "Dr. Sid…" she began pleadingly.

"Aki," he repeated firmly.  "Please.  Let me help you."

She sighed, finally meeting his gaze.  "I've been having dreams.  Nightmares, actually."  She shuddered.

"About the Phantoms?" Dr. Sid asked, suddenly alert.

"Yes… and no.  I've been dreaming about the destruction of New York."  She was silent for a moment, trying to gather the courage for her next question.  "Was it… my fault?"

"Oh, Aki," Dr. Sid breathed.  "So that's what's been bothering you."  He came over to her, a pale shape in the dark.  "It's not your fault.  None of this is."

That's what Gray had tried to tell her in her dream.  But she wasn't sure she believed it.  She wanted to, with all her heart.  But, even if her dreams meant nothing, she still felt responsible.

"Can you sleep?" Dr. Sid asked.  Aki shook her head wordlessly; the dreams would return if she tried to sleep.  "Want to try a sleeping pill?" he suggested.

Maybe it would help after all.  As much as she hated drug-induced slumber, she knew she couldn't go on like this.  If it could suppress the dreams, it would be worth it.

"Come on," Dr. Sid said softly, guiding her out of the dark lab.  Aki kept her eyes on Sid, afraid she might see something else if she looked away.

*   *   *

She'd dreamed again that night, instead of the peaceful sleep the sedative should have given her.  Aki had been surrounded by the human spirits, all reaching towards her own translucent body.  She'd run, shoving her way through the intangible crowd.  She'd then sprinted down the streets, hopping low walls and turning down dark alleys.  As she'd run, her body had become flesh again.  She'd escaped!  She hadn't become one of the lost souls pursuing her, pleading with her to join them.

She wasn't one of them!  She wasn't meant to be!  Her frantic flight had brought her to the military hangar where the _Black Boa_ sat, where, incredibly, Gray stood in the hatch of her ship, gesturing her forward. 

"You can do it, Aki!  You can still escape this!" Gray cried at her.  "You still have a chance!"

She'd run towards him, arms spread as she prepared to accept his embrace, when a thought brought her up short.  Gray was dead.  He hadn't escaped the Phantoms.  He had taken her place so she could be free.

But I don't deserve to be free…  I killed all these people!  

From the cargo hatch, Gray had shaken his head sadly and slowly faded away.  _I tried, Aki…_ she thought she heard his voice say, _but you can't let it go…_  And then Aki was alone in the hangar… alone with the spirits that had followed her, their numbers tripled.

Then Aki had awoken.  Again, Gray had been in her dream.  And again, he'd been trying to tell her something.  But what?  What had he wanted to say?

Aki sat on her bed, hand pressed to her forehead.  It looked as if she was going to have another sleepless night.

*    *    *

Aki's hands shook the next morning as she brushed her hair.  She hadn't gotten any more sleep, and it was showing.  She knew she looked like a walking corpse.  And she'd just realized she hadn't eaten a real meal since Gray had died.  The hurried bites she'd grabbed when forced to eat were taking a toll on her.  Her cheeks looked sunken, the bones sharply visible in her gaunt face.  She felt weak, but she just wasn't hungry.

And she was so tired… But she was too afraid to sleep.  She had to do something about this!  She knew it wasn't healthy for her, though she was no longer sure she even cared.  She didn't want to be haunted by dreams of death and destruction any more!

Death and destruction she had caused, no matter what anyone said.  She'd brought it upon the others and had come close to it herself, only to escape.

_You can escape this!_ Gray had said.

She wasn't doing a very good job of it.  She had the uneasy feeling this was going to gnaw at her for the rest of her life.

You can't let go… 

How true that was.

*   *   *

This is it, Aki decided several hours later.  She had had enough.  Everyone around her was commenting on how awful she looked, both when they thought she wasn't listening and to her face.  Was her anxiety that obvious?  She had to do something about it before she went insane.

"They're just dreams," Aki whispered hoarsely.  "Only dreams.  I'm not seeing spirits.  I didn't cause the destruction of New York.  I don't deserve to be dead!"  She'd been repeating the mantra all day but didn't feel any better.  She was starting to see spirits everywhere: in the crowded streets, the hallways, the labs… All of them seemingly invisible to everyone around her, all only seen for a brief instant.  All reaching for her…

Perhaps she was already insane.  Or perhaps the dreams meant something, and she just couldn't understand the message.  But they all seemed to point in one direction: New York.  Maybe she would find her answers there.

That was it!  She would return to New York.  Aki wanted to retrieve the bodies of Deep Eyes anyway before Gray's honorary funeral in two days, and this would provide an excellent excuse to go.  Dr. Sid wouldn't approve, but the Council had asked him to work on something with the military and he'd likely be gone all day.  And the _Black Boa_ was hers, no one would stop her from taking it out.

Having decided on a course of action, Aki made preparations for her departure.  It felt good to finally be doing something, and for the first time Aki began to feel confident she could beat this.  Once she got to New York, she would beat this.  She knew she could.  She had to.

*    *    *

The trip from Houston to New York took several hours, time Aki spent in the pilot's seat staring vacantly forward.  She didn't trust her tired reflexes to pilot the _Black Boa_, and having already prepared places for the Deep Eyes squad's bodies, she was left with very little to do.  

But at least she wasn't seeing spirits.  The terrain below her was totally devoid of anything, the barren, rocky ground seemingly unwilling to support life.  And it might never support it again.  The world was still dying around them.

Aki's gloomy thoughts were interrupted as the_ Black Boa_ beeped, and a message that she was in a restricted area appeared on a screen to her right as she entered the fringes of Old New York.  She ignored the message.  There wasn't anyone to enforce the warning anyway.

The ship maneuvered its way through the ancient buildings to a dark shape nestled amidst the ruin: Barrier City New York, now as dead as the empty city surrounding it.

The_ Black Boa_ made straight for the military hangar, still open from her own departure so many days ago.  It was like a dark, hungry maw waiting to close around her…

The ship landed and powered down almost in the same spot it had taken off from.  Aki sat motionless for a moment, trying to gather the courage to get out and face the grisly task of retrieving the bodies… and trying not to think that something else could be out there, waiting.

When Aki finally stepped out of the ship and into the hangar, she lost her nerve.  The deathly silence chilled her, and she found she couldn't face the thought of seeing the cold, empty faces of the people who had helped her.  The gloomy atmosphere with its scent of decay was suddenly very stifling, and she had to get out of there before she was smothered by the darkness.

She ran down the corridors, empty but for the occasional body, until she reached a door that led outside.

It was dark, almost pitch black.  There were now lights in any of the empty buildings, and the fires had burned themselves out some time ago.  She was left with something resembling Old New York, made all the more terrifying by the bodies strewn about that still looked fresh.  Only days ago, they had all been alive, busy with their sheltered lives and unaware of the tragedy about to befall them.

All because of her...

She should never have allowed herself to be brought to New York.  If she had just gone on her lonely quest for the spirits with only Dr. Sid's guidance, this would never have happened.  Why had she involved Gray?

She roamed the streets, wandering deeper and deeper into the city's silent heart.  Every once in a while, the moan of wind through metal would catch her attention, but her thoughts remained turned inward.

Aki was here.  So why weren't her dreams making their meanings clear to her?  What was she missing?

So self-absorbed was she that she failed to notice the city lighten around her.  A soft blue glow seemed to permeate the atmosphere.  Aki paused by a broken girder that had fallen from a building above.  She was hallucinating.  This was it!  This could be the answer she was looking for!

Spirits stepped out from around her; a dozen, a hundred, too many to count.  They gathered around her, their wavering forms making a wall that blocked her escape.

_Join us..._  the words came into her head.

"What do you want?" Aki asked, her voice level.  This was a dream, it couldn't hurt her.  And she needed her questions answered.

_No escape..._ the voices continued.

_You can escape this! _Gray had told her, his voice desperate.

Escape what?

"What are you talking about?" Aki wondered.

 _Death..._

Death.  She had escaped death.  But she had saved the planet from its own demise!  Why did they want her dead?

Aki suddenly realized there was no dealing with the spirits.  The wanted her to be one of them.  But this was a dream!  She _could_ escape.  It was only her guilt that was giving her these dreams.  Guilt for something she wasn't responsible for!

"Go away," she said.  "I'm not the one you want.  Gray and Dr. Sid were right - this wasn't my fault.  I'm not the one you should seek vengeance on."   That was what Gray had been trying to tell her, she realized.  The spirits were manifestations of her guilt, and he represented the part of her mind that knew the truth and was trying to snap her out of her guilt before it drove her mad!

The spirits didn't leave.  She was puzzled - shouldn't that have dispelled the hallucinations?  The spirits advanced closer, their voices murmuring in her mind, hollow echoes of their dying screams ringing in her ears.

"What do you want?" Aki asked again, an edge of panic in her voice.  Even the Phantoms in her dreams had never been so openly aggressive towards her.  Which meant this was something different...

This wasn't working, she realized.  She needed to wake herself, and fast!  In Houston, when her head had hit the ground, the pain had brought her out of the dream.  Perhaps this time...

Aki placed her bare right palm over a sharp edge of the girder, then ran it along the edge.  The metal bit sharply into the flesh of her hand, and blood welled up and spilled over the edge of the wound.

And still the illusion remained.  As Aki stood, her palm dripping, she realized finally they weren't going to disappear.  This wasn't a dream, not in the way the others had been.

This is your fault… 

_The Phantoms were attracted to you…_

_The city died while you lived…_

Her fault… It was all her fault!

No!  It couldn't be!

These were hallucinations!  If they weren't, other people would have seen them!  Her conscience was tormenting her, just as part of her had been trying to save her.

Look around you… Is this a hallucination?  The Phantoms were here… They killed because of you…

"Leave me alone!  This isn't happening!"  Why was her mind tormenting her this way?

 "You're not real," Aki's voice quavered.  "You can't be…"  Even if they weren't, Aki sensed they were still a threat to her.  And she couldn't help but wonder if, maybe, she deserved what fate had planned for her.  These people had died so she could succeed; was it fair that she had lived while they hadn't?

She should have died when she was first infected.  Instead, she'd been a walking corpse, pretending to be alive while bringing death to those she loved.

Why…?  Suddenly, she couldn't take it any more.   Tears spilled down her face and her knees gave out under her.  She fell to her knees and wept as, around her, the spirits came closer.

You can escape this!  You still have a chance! 

No, Gray… I never had a chance.  I'm sorry.  But… at least I'll be with you… 

She'd been marked for death since the beginning.  Perhaps Gray could have saved her, but it was too late now.  Suddenly she realized why the spirits had come to her.  She didn't want to live any more, not with the guilt of what she had caused.  But she could never have ended her life on her own.  The spirits were only giving her what she had yearned for…

Death… And freedom from the pain… 

Aki held her hands towards the spirits, feeling their icy touch all over her body as they grabbed at her own spirit, her soul, pulling it in all directions.  If this were a dream, it felt very, very real.  She screamed once in mortal agony as the spirits reclaimed one of their own, then slipped, lifeless, to the ground.

*    *    *

Dr. Sid found her the next day.  He'd followed with a small group of soldiers in a Copperhead as soon as he'd realized where she was going.  He had a horrible premonition that she was getting herself into trouble.

The nine soldiers accompanying him followed closely as Dr. Sid located Aki with a tracking device built in to Aki's wrist computer.  It led them to the very center of the city.

She was lying in a crumpled heap, her body still and lifeless.   Whey they examined her, there wasn't a mark on her body, though her face was a mask of sadness and horror mixed.  It looked as if she had been killed by a Phantom.  But that was impossible!

With a muffled sob, Dr. Sid closed Aki's wide eyes.  Tears rolled down his craggy face.  "Why did you have to come here?'  The soldiers stood at a respectful distance as he hugged Aki's cold body to his.

A soft noise made Dr. Sid look up.  Behind one of the soldiers was a glowing blue being, a human spirit.  It was standing absolutely still, facing him.  The soldiers seemed oblivious to its presence.

The spirit just looked at him, unmoving, for several moments.  Dr. Sid's eyes widened as he suddenly recognized the outline, blurred though its features were.

"Aki?" He half rose, his joints cracking in protest as he did.  The spirit took half a step towards him, then stopped and cocked its head as if listening to a voice only it could hear.  Then, Aki's spirit turned away, vanishing forever into the shadows of the dead city.

THE END


End file.
